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Late Student, Aged Twenty-three
Were you an older man, my dear Ray, your letter would be consigned to the
flames unanswered, and our friendship would become constrained and formal,
if it did not end utterly. But knowing you to be so many years my junior, and
so slightly acquainted with yourself or womankind, I am going to be the friend
you need, instead of the misfortune you invite.
I will not say that your letter was a complete surprise to me. It is seldom a
woman is so unsophisticated in the ways of men that she is not aware when
friendship passes the borderline and trespasses on the domain of passion.
I realized on the last two occasions we met that you were not quite normal.
The first was at Mrs. Hanover's dinner; and I attributed some indiscreet words
and actions on your part to the very old Burgundy served to a very young man.
Since the memory of mortal, Bacchus has been a confederate of Cupid, and
the victims of the former have a period (though brief indeed) of believing
themselves slaves to the latter.
As I chanced to be your right-hand neighbour at that very merry board, where
wit, wisdom, and beauty combined to condense hours into minutes, I
considered it a mere accident that you gave yourself to me with somewhat
marked devotion. Had I been any other one of the ladies present, it would have
been the same, I thought. Our next and last encounter, however, set me
It was fully a week later, and that most unromantic portion of the day, between
breakfast and luncheon.
It was a Bagby recital, and you sought me out as I was listening to the music,
and caused me to leave before the programme was half done. You were no
longer under the dominion of Bacchus, though Euterpe may have taken his
task upon herself, as she often does, and your manner and expression of
countenance troubled me.
I happen to be a woman whose heart life is absolutely complete. I have
realized my dreams, and have no least desire to turn them into nightmares. I
like original rôles, too, and that of the really happy wife is less hackneyed than
the part of the 'misunderstood woman.' And I find greater enjoyment in the
steady flame of one lamp than in the flaring light of many candles.
I have taken a good deal of pride in keeping my lamp well trimmed and
brightly burning, and I was startled and offended at the idea of any man
coming so near he imagined he might blow out the light.
Your letter, however, makes me more sorry than angry.
You are passing through a phase of experience which comes to almost every
youth, between sixteen and twenty-four.
Your affectional and romantic nature is blossoming out, and you are in that
transition period where an older woman appeals to you.
Being crude and unformed yourself, the mature and ripened mind and body
A very young man is fascinated by an older woman's charms, just as a very old
man is drawn to a girl in her teens.
This is according to the law of completion, each entity seeking for what it does
Ask any middle-aged man of your acquaintance to tell you the years of the
first woman he imagined he loved, and you will find you are following a
Because you are a worth while young man, with a bright future before you, I
am, as I think of the matter, glad you selected me rather than some other less
happy or considerate woman, as the object of your regard.
An unhappy wife or an ambitious adventuress might mar your future, and
leave you with lowered ideals and blasted prospects.
You tell me in your letter that for 'a day of life and love with me you would
willingly give up the world and snap your fingers in the face of conventional
society, and even face death with a laugh.' It is easy for a passionate, romantic
nature to work itself into a mood where those words are felt when written, and
sometimes the mood carries a man and a woman through the fulfilment of
such assertions. But invariably afterward comes regret, remorse, and
No man enjoys having the world take him at his word, when he says he is
ready to give it up for the woman he loves.
He wants the woman and the world, too.
In the long run, he finds the world's respect more necessary to his continued
happiness than the woman's society.
Just recall the history of all such cases you have known, and you will find my
Thank your stars that I am not a reckless woman ready to take you at your
word, and thank your stars, too, that I am not a free woman who would be
foolish enough and selfish enough to harness a young husband to a mature
wife. I know you resent this reference to the difference in our years, which
may not be so marked to the observer to-day, but how would it be ten, fifteen
years from now? There are few disasters greater for husband or wife than the
marriage of a boy of twenty to a woman a dozen years his senior. For when he
reaches thirty-five, despair and misery must almost inevitably face them both.
You must forgive me when I tell you that one sentence in your letter caused a
That sentence was, 'Would to God I had met you when you were free to be
wooed and loved, as never man loved woman before.'
Now I have been married ten years, and you are twenty-three years old! You
must blame my imagination (not my heart, which has no intention of being
cruel) for the picture presented to my mind's eye by your wish.
I saw myself in the full flower of young ladyhood, carrying at my side an
awkward lad of a dozen years, attired in knickerbockers, and probably
chewing a taffy stick, yet 'wooing and loving as never man loved before.'
I suppose, however, the idea in your mind was that you wished Fate had made
me of your own age, and left me free for you.
But few boys of twenty-three are capable of knowing what they want in a life
companion. Ten years from now your ideal will have changed.
You are in love with love, life, and all womankind, my dear boy, not with me,
Put away all such ideas, and settle down to hard study and serious ambitions,
and seal this letter of yours, which I am returning with my reply, and lay it
carefully away in some safe place. Mark it to be destroyed unopened in case of
your death. But if you live, I want you to open, re-read and burn it on the
evening before your marriage to some lovely girl, who is probably rolling a
hoop to-day; and if I am living, I want you to write and thank me for what I
have said to you here. I hardly expect you will feel li
A Woman of the World
A Woman of the World
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|Workable Solutions||Step-by-step Troubleshooting|
|Fix 1. Downloads not showing Windows 10||Press Ctrl+J to open the downloads window > click 'Show in folder'..Full steps|
|Fix 2. Downloads not showing Desktop||Right-click your mouse and click 'View' > select 'Show desktop icons'..Full steps|
|Fix 3. Downloads not showing Mac||Pres ⌘+J on a Mac > open Downloads in the web browser > check downloaded files..Full steps|
Q: My recent downloads are not showing in my download folder?
'When I download a file in Firefox, I see that it is downloading, but when I go into my desktop, I cannot find it after it has finished the download. Nor can I find the file in the download folder. I know the file has been downloaded because the computer shows space has been taken up. Where do I find my downloaded files? What is the default download location for files on Windows? Is there a fix in which I can get the files to be updated into my download folder?'
Quite a lot of users have this issue that downloaded files not showing up on the desktop or download folder without any sign. How to fix downloaded files not showing up on Windows 10 or Mac? On this page, you will find useful methods to deal with this problem.
Solutions to My Downloads Are Not Showing up
Why aren't my downloads showing up on the desktop or the download folder? When you lose track of the files you've downloaded with your web browser, you can go to check the default save locations of your web browser through the settings.
Fix Downloads Not Showing up on Windows 10
If you can't find the download file on desktoped in Windows 10, the fastest way to view your recent downloads in Chrome, Microsoft Edge, Internet Explorer, Firefox, and Opera, is to press Ctrl+J on your keyboard. After you press the shortcut key combination, the Downloads window will open and display the recently downloaded files like the screenshot below. You can click 'Show in folder' to check the accurate save location.
To change the default storage location, go to 'Settings' > 'Downloads' > 'Location' > click 'Change' to complete. The approach is similar to change the location of files downloaded by other browsers.
Downloaded files not showing up on desktop?
If your files are actually stored on the desktop, but the downloaded files not showing up on the desktop, the direct cause may be that the computer hides the icon.
1. Right-click your mouse and click 'view'.
2. Select show desktop icons
3. Click refresh and check your downloaded files
The three steps above are the quickest way to fix downloaded files not showing up on the desktop. But sometimes this does not work so well; you can also find the missing files from the Downloads folder on your Windows: press the Windows key, type Downloads, and then press Enter.
Fix Downloads Not Showing up in the Download Folder on Mac
You can Pres ⌘+J on a Mac to open the Downloads interface in the web browser to check downloaded files. Also, you can use the same way on Windows computer to change the default save location of the web browser on Mac.
To change the default storage location in Safari:
Click the 'Settings' icon > 'Preferences'. Under the 'General' tab, click the 'Save downloaded files to' option to set the destination.
If none of the above methods can help you fix downloads not showing up issue and your downloaded files are still missing, there is still an effective way to restore downloaded files by using a data recovery application.
Recover Downloaded Files Not Showing up on Windows 10/Mac
When you can't find the downloaded file anywhere with anyway, the final useful way is resorting to EaseUS Data Recovery Wizard. It is a versatile file recovery program that enables you to recover hidden, deleted, formatted easily, and virus-attack documents, photos, audios, videos, etc.
Besides, if the downloaded files are completely removed and not showing up anyhow, this EaseUS data recovery software allows you to recover deleted files in Windows 10 on Windows and Mac computer in three steps.
Step 1. Launch EaseUS file recovery software on your computer. Choose the exact location where you lost the files and click the Scan button.
Step 2. The software will immediately start scanning the drive and very soon the deleted files will show up. When the process is over, you can filter the document files.
Step 3. Select files (e.g. Word, Excel, and PowerPoint) and click the Recover button. You can browse for a different location to save the recovered files.
More Guides on View Downloaded Files
Some users don't know where to view downloads on Android phone and tablet, iPad, and iPhone, here are the related instructions.
How do I view and open downloaded files on Android?
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You can find all the downloaded files on Android phones and tablets in an app, called Files or My Files. The downloaded files will be listed there in chronological order. The Files or My Files app is located in the app drawer. Open the app and tap the Downloads option to view downloaded files on your phone or tablet.
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How do I find downloaded files on my iPhone?
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Unlike Android devices that save the files in one place, on the iPad and iPhone, downloaded files are not saved or stored in a single location. They go to the corresponding apps on your iPhone or iPad. European school of bartending.
For example, the downloaded photos will go to the Photos app; the synced songs will be saved in the Music app, the videos will be stored in the TV/Videos app, and more. If you don't know the exact location of a file, you can use a free iOS data manager to transfer, download, and organize files on your iPhone or iPad.